Saturday, October 01, 2005
Writing Assignment #6
This essay was assigned and I had to file the ideas into the back of my head, sit back and just think…What motivates me? Am I motivated differently by different things? I’ve kind of lost touch with the concept of myself lately. Actually, when one works in a cube time just sorts of blends together so it’s hard to differentiate between when certain paradigms take hold and change the way they see the world. The last three years of my adult career have been spent in revenue accounting and I have found myself in a situation of not worrying about my personal desires but attempting to be what the system wants me to be. I believe that in this modern age the concept of being alive is not based on organic genuine livelihood but more on creating synthetic symptoms of humanlike behavior. So these questions on my behavior have actually came somewhere out of left field because I had forgotten what it’s like for someone to express that extent of genuine interest. But it was tonight Friday September 30, 2005 that had actually inspired me to sit down before the ole’ Sony Vaio laptop and type these words. I’m a 24 year old crappy guitar player who wants nothing more than to be in a kick ass rock group that takes over the world. In the six years I have looked into being in a band but the gods of Rock and Roll have yet to throw me a freakin’ bone. I have endlessly combed the contours of this Denver metro area in search of people with like mind ideas and the desire to organize sound. To this day I cannot say I have ever really been in an active important role in any band. I’m 24 so if the next six years my pursuit of rock have gone as the last six years have gone then I will be 30 years old and still playing with myself (no pun intended.) When the Beatles were 30 years old they had already been in various bands, formed The Beatles, changed the world and broke up. (But whose comparing resumes?) Even with no hopes in sight I nightly grab hold of “Blushing Lucille” (that’s the name of my guitar which is a cherry red Gibson Les Paul Special with P-100 pick-ups.) I diligently practice externally motivated by the dangling carrot of an idea that one day I’ll be of a talent that people wouldn’t be able to resist the chance to be in band with me. It’s a sick and twisted thought which mirrors my feelings of the idea of a person losing his autonomy for the security and comfort of sitting in a cube. The delusion of actually being a good musician and taking part in an amazing rock band are constantly being scrutinized by the glaring eye of my helplessness. I feel that my daily practice is moving my talents in such a snails pace and I truly have no clue how to approach learning the guitar. It’s like going to a foreign country to learn their language and having everyone around not engage in conversation with you. By observing you could learn the language in theory but the entire use would be taken out of context and one would never get to feel the affirmation of actually living it. How am I to become a better guitar player if my fellow musicians won’t ever speak the language with me? These external motivations pushing me harder to live up to an image and catch the dangling carrot seem to have this deep negative effect on me. I don’t feel good about myself when I think about the stagnate nature of my musical situation and it’s at these times I’m prevented from moving forward in a more proactive manner. The inspiration for this writing assignment came tonight with the meeting of my sister’s friends Cory and Angie. They are this kind married couple that live in Denver/DIA (aka bfe.) The girls wanted to talk without us guys so Cory and I went to the basement of his home where he continued to show me his new creation. Cory is a web-site developer and he showed me his custom designed fantasy football site that he hopes to make his business. I have to be honest…I hate football. I could care less about a whole bunch of creatine snortin Neanderthals that get dressed up in pads and tackle each other for the soul purpose of getting back up to slap each other’s butts and do it all over again. But, Cory’s personality which was engaging, intelligent, inspired and genuine sparked my interest in fantasy football. Sitting before me was a man of immense programming knowledge. He freely shared the plans of his dream with me all the while answering my simple stupid questions about HTML. He was interested in not just his personal agenda. He proved this by getting my email address and sending me links to sites that could teach me HTML. Cory created a charismatic rapport with me by his patient reciprocal nature. I knew I could have spent hours just leaning about programming and football from him because of his love for the topics. So it was his external personality that motivated me to learn about topics which were only of a modest interest to me. It’s this type of passion that I need to find in two fellow musicians. If I met two people with half the glimmer in their eye for music as Cory had for computer programming than I would be well on my way to building my silly ideal band. The examples mentioned above are both the negative and positive experiences I have had with external motivation…it makes me wonder if the taste of the dangling carrot is what makes life worth living or is the purpose the memories you build by being pulled through life by the gravity of your dream? I still just want to eat the damn carrot!!!
This essay was assigned and I had to file the ideas into the back of my head, sit back and just think…What motivates me? Am I motivated differently by different things? I’ve kind of lost touch with the concept of myself lately. Actually, when one works in a cube time just sorts of blends together so it’s hard to differentiate between when certain paradigms take hold and change the way they see the world. The last three years of my adult career have been spent in revenue accounting and I have found myself in a situation of not worrying about my personal desires but attempting to be what the system wants me to be. I believe that in this modern age the concept of being alive is not based on organic genuine livelihood but more on creating synthetic symptoms of humanlike behavior. So these questions on my behavior have actually came somewhere out of left field because I had forgotten what it’s like for someone to express that extent of genuine interest. But it was tonight Friday September 30, 2005 that had actually inspired me to sit down before the ole’ Sony Vaio laptop and type these words. I’m a 24 year old crappy guitar player who wants nothing more than to be in a kick ass rock group that takes over the world. In the six years I have looked into being in a band but the gods of Rock and Roll have yet to throw me a freakin’ bone. I have endlessly combed the contours of this Denver metro area in search of people with like mind ideas and the desire to organize sound. To this day I cannot say I have ever really been in an active important role in any band. I’m 24 so if the next six years my pursuit of rock have gone as the last six years have gone then I will be 30 years old and still playing with myself (no pun intended.) When the Beatles were 30 years old they had already been in various bands, formed The Beatles, changed the world and broke up. (But whose comparing resumes?) Even with no hopes in sight I nightly grab hold of “Blushing Lucille” (that’s the name of my guitar which is a cherry red Gibson Les Paul Special with P-100 pick-ups.) I diligently practice externally motivated by the dangling carrot of an idea that one day I’ll be of a talent that people wouldn’t be able to resist the chance to be in band with me. It’s a sick and twisted thought which mirrors my feelings of the idea of a person losing his autonomy for the security and comfort of sitting in a cube. The delusion of actually being a good musician and taking part in an amazing rock band are constantly being scrutinized by the glaring eye of my helplessness. I feel that my daily practice is moving my talents in such a snails pace and I truly have no clue how to approach learning the guitar. It’s like going to a foreign country to learn their language and having everyone around not engage in conversation with you. By observing you could learn the language in theory but the entire use would be taken out of context and one would never get to feel the affirmation of actually living it. How am I to become a better guitar player if my fellow musicians won’t ever speak the language with me? These external motivations pushing me harder to live up to an image and catch the dangling carrot seem to have this deep negative effect on me. I don’t feel good about myself when I think about the stagnate nature of my musical situation and it’s at these times I’m prevented from moving forward in a more proactive manner. The inspiration for this writing assignment came tonight with the meeting of my sister’s friends Cory and Angie. They are this kind married couple that live in Denver/DIA (aka bfe.) The girls wanted to talk without us guys so Cory and I went to the basement of his home where he continued to show me his new creation. Cory is a web-site developer and he showed me his custom designed fantasy football site that he hopes to make his business. I have to be honest…I hate football. I could care less about a whole bunch of creatine snortin Neanderthals that get dressed up in pads and tackle each other for the soul purpose of getting back up to slap each other’s butts and do it all over again. But, Cory’s personality which was engaging, intelligent, inspired and genuine sparked my interest in fantasy football. Sitting before me was a man of immense programming knowledge. He freely shared the plans of his dream with me all the while answering my simple stupid questions about HTML. He was interested in not just his personal agenda. He proved this by getting my email address and sending me links to sites that could teach me HTML. Cory created a charismatic rapport with me by his patient reciprocal nature. I knew I could have spent hours just leaning about programming and football from him because of his love for the topics. So it was his external personality that motivated me to learn about topics which were only of a modest interest to me. It’s this type of passion that I need to find in two fellow musicians. If I met two people with half the glimmer in their eye for music as Cory had for computer programming than I would be well on my way to building my silly ideal band. The examples mentioned above are both the negative and positive experiences I have had with external motivation…it makes me wonder if the taste of the dangling carrot is what makes life worth living or is the purpose the memories you build by being pulled through life by the gravity of your dream? I still just want to eat the damn carrot!!!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
The Turn Around 101
Last week I took my journalism test and there was a section titled: Omit Needless Words.
The directions read as follows.
The following phrases are redundant and/or can be simplified. Write a simpler word or phrase on the line next to each phrase.
So she had simple phrases like “promoted to the rank of” and I was to shorten it. So of course I put “promoted.” Come question eight there was a phrase “brilliant genius.” So I exercised a little liberty of creativity and wrote... “Einstein” in the blank. I have been shunned before by this professor’s conservative approach to teaching and rigid ideology to grading but I was willing to take the hit of a missed questioned in hopes of putting a smile on her face…I don’t know if she smiled but I got my test back today and this time around she gave me the point. This semester I have felt that due to the lack of personality of my fellow journalism classmates and the orthodox teaching approach of my professor my dreams of becoming a journalist would be hampered by being an incarnation of my current life as a cube dweller. It’s these small miracles, such as an accepted creative answer by my teacher, that truly give me hope of a better life…at least until next class period.
Last week I took my journalism test and there was a section titled: Omit Needless Words.
The directions read as follows.
The following phrases are redundant and/or can be simplified. Write a simpler word or phrase on the line next to each phrase.
So she had simple phrases like “promoted to the rank of” and I was to shorten it. So of course I put “promoted.” Come question eight there was a phrase “brilliant genius.” So I exercised a little liberty of creativity and wrote... “Einstein” in the blank. I have been shunned before by this professor’s conservative approach to teaching and rigid ideology to grading but I was willing to take the hit of a missed questioned in hopes of putting a smile on her face…I don’t know if she smiled but I got my test back today and this time around she gave me the point. This semester I have felt that due to the lack of personality of my fellow journalism classmates and the orthodox teaching approach of my professor my dreams of becoming a journalist would be hampered by being an incarnation of my current life as a cube dweller. It’s these small miracles, such as an accepted creative answer by my teacher, that truly give me hope of a better life…at least until next class period.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Of Peacock Feathers and Beasts
I’m listening to Radiohead’s Lucky as I spend another futile night attempting to complete quality home work for my college courses. A dense pressure resonates upon my temples, as the reality of the task daunts me, overcoming my energy like the last right jab from a bully. Dizzy and in pain I concentrate on Thom Yorke’s voice as it registers the chorus ironically singing, “Hey man slow down…” My girl friend’s voice plays the showy feathers of which they represent while she sings in the shower. Her siren’s call is melodic and beautiful as it slowly erodes at my soul like water dashing against rocks on the shore…one day the law of attrition will win and we will break. As such, the peacock’s feathers are for nothing more than attraction, a monopolization of gregarious attention they are nothing in which we could build shelter with… for they would only wither and die if taken out of context and used for such a purpose. Loneliness…My world is a dumpster and its funny how I’m always the disposable one. These cries are merely for the blind eyes and deaf ears in which the fabric of my life is cut upon. What should I do??? Should I stay up another two hours finishing my pysc. assignments only to get four hours of sleep again or do I procrastinate even more and settle for a six hour night of rest? The latter would only infuse my weekend with even more of tangled mess in which I already have such a limited time to pick up. There’s not a soul to rescue me from this helpless feeling except a black ink Bic and some wide ruled notebooks in which I scratch my illegible mess into. Still my questions of what to do with tonight go unanswered…I guess Magical 8-balls were invented for people like me.
I’m listening to Radiohead’s Lucky as I spend another futile night attempting to complete quality home work for my college courses. A dense pressure resonates upon my temples, as the reality of the task daunts me, overcoming my energy like the last right jab from a bully. Dizzy and in pain I concentrate on Thom Yorke’s voice as it registers the chorus ironically singing, “Hey man slow down…” My girl friend’s voice plays the showy feathers of which they represent while she sings in the shower. Her siren’s call is melodic and beautiful as it slowly erodes at my soul like water dashing against rocks on the shore…one day the law of attrition will win and we will break. As such, the peacock’s feathers are for nothing more than attraction, a monopolization of gregarious attention they are nothing in which we could build shelter with… for they would only wither and die if taken out of context and used for such a purpose. Loneliness…My world is a dumpster and its funny how I’m always the disposable one. These cries are merely for the blind eyes and deaf ears in which the fabric of my life is cut upon. What should I do??? Should I stay up another two hours finishing my pysc. assignments only to get four hours of sleep again or do I procrastinate even more and settle for a six hour night of rest? The latter would only infuse my weekend with even more of tangled mess in which I already have such a limited time to pick up. There’s not a soul to rescue me from this helpless feeling except a black ink Bic and some wide ruled notebooks in which I scratch my illegible mess into. Still my questions of what to do with tonight go unanswered…I guess Magical 8-balls were invented for people like me.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
I Have to Edit this Psychology Paper ....Edited
I am so damn tired I feel drunk and I must put in another labor intensive day at work and school tomorrow!!!! But here I am at 11:30pm finishing the first and most rough draft of my psyc essay due next week ( and I have to be up by 5am.) I might have to turn it in early due to my Journalism class visiting the Rocky Mountain News. I’m sure there is more spelling and grammatical errors in this than there are republicans in Texas but this is just one of those good ole’ metric steps in the right dye-rection. This essay was written based off the article I read called:
Buddhist and Psychological Perspectives on Emotions and Well-Being
Paul Ekman, Richard J. Davidson, Matthieu Ricard, and B. Alan Wallace
It is unknown what benefits of studying Buddhist thought could have on the insights of psychology. Much of the Indo-Tibetan Buddhist practice revolves around the perspective of understanding the nature of reality. Their practices have been cultivated, for over 1000 years, to reach a state called “sukha” which induces non-afflictive happiness. In Western society, it was believed that emotions and intelligence were two separate cognitive states. Current scientific research has shown that any part of the brain which is receptive in conveying emotion is also linked to intellectual activity. Buddhist thought seemed to understand this concept from the beginning because it did not have separate terms for the word emotion and thinking. This represents the idea that there is no difference between thinking and emotion. Whereas, Aristotle believed that no emotion was bad as long as it was used in the proper context. Buddhism makes distinctions about what emotions are afflictive to human nature and impeding to reaching sukha. Three hindering emotions are craving, hatred and delusion. In our society, a craving is not considered harmful unless it is compulsive. It has been shown that, in people engaging in activities of their compulsive desire, a natural chemical called dopamine is released into the brain. This raises the question, how does a person’s brain that has had a compulsive desire react to such stimulus after undergoing Buddhist practice? In Buddhism, hatred is considered to be a toxin in the pursuit of non-afflicted happiness. In western society hatred is not always considered to be a bad thing. If someone goes through something extremely dramatic, like the murder of a loved one, that form of hatred is accepted by our culture but the prolonged manifestation of this emotion could affect a person’s long term metal health. In western culture, it is common to accept a violent temper as a person’s
nature. This sort of temperament fosters a belief that a person is a completely separate entity from other people. Buddhists believe that the nature of a person is dynamic and ever-changing and has an important effect on a person’s surrounding environment. Thus, the studying of Buddhist thought could aid in a person’s realization of his interdependence with his environment. The study of Buddhism could contribute to physiological studies. Buddhism’s practices also differ from psychology by not limiting its methods to the purely sick of the culture. Unlike psychology, Buddhism is not only occupied with regulating emotions of a considered faulty trait therefore it has practices that could aid in anyone achieving a better understanding of his emotions. The training involved in reaching sukha is decades long; such a cumulative practice in understanding human thought could shed more insights into the way psychology can have a long lasting effect on all people (Ekman, Davidson, Ricard, & Wallace, 2005) .
This article was a concisely written general introduction of how the knowledge of Indo-Tibetan Buddhism can affect psychological research. The authors utilized many sources in substantiating their point of view. In fact, the article was inspired by the authors’ meeting with, perhaps one of the most important resources on Tibetan Buddhism, the Dalai Lama himself. It seemed that the point of this article was to spark a general interest in how western society could benefit from learning Buddhist practices. Although, this tenant is one that could be elaborated on for many pages, the authors did a good job finding two compelling main points. First, they introduced sukha which is the concept of reaching enduring happiness. Second, the authors discuss afflictive and non-afflictive emotional traits which they thoroughly developed with two sets of elaborations. The first elaboration was “The Buddhist View” and the other gave research directions on how these ideas could be tested. This paper was written clearly because ideas that would not normally be found in our culture such as sukha and duhkha were well defined (Ekmanet al., 2005) .
This article sparks an interest in eastern thought; it was concisely written and was well organized but I think that the authors falsely infer that Buddhism can be practiced. The authors’ premise in differentiating psychology from Buddhism by asserting that psychology’s main purpose is to treat the mentally ill while the pursuit of sukha is for the betterment of everyone was misleading (Ekman et al., 2005) . Comparing Buddhism with psychology is like the platitude of going to a restaurant and confusing the main dish for the menu. Buddhism is the nourishment which sates the eastern soul. Psychology is only a tool (a fork to better build my analogy) to aid in consuming the food that relinquishes the western soul. I know from my personal study of Buddhist thought that as there is not a direct translation for the word emotion from its founding culture into English, there is also not a separate word for religion as such. Buddhism is a way of life.
To directly compare psychology with eastern thought, I would say: Psychology is to the west as Koans are to the east. Koans are the conundrums used by Zen Buddhist masters to trip up their students and help them realize their spontaneous nature. An example of a common Koan is, “What is the sound of one had clapping?” These unusual and nonsensical questions are how a master pits his students’ nature against their logic and forces them into various incarnations of the “a-ha moment.” Only to exemplify how Buddhism is a way of life, a typical student undertakes its study for over 30 years. The Koan is only one of the tools used in those 30 years. In the west psychology is akin to Koans because it also perplexes a person with their troubling problems and helps them to realize the answers can be found within themselves. This form of treatment can also induce the “a-ha moment.” I agree with the authors’ point that typically psychology’s only purpose is to treat psychopathology and is not involved in other long term learning of skills (Ekman et al., 2005) .That point only proves my idea that psychology is a useful tool like the Koan. Psychology aids in giving a person certain problem solving skills but I wouldn’t find it feasible for it to metamorphosize into becoming a way of life.
Lastly, I don’t believe a person needs Indo-Tibetan Buddhism to reach a sukha like state of mind. I believe that there are people in our culture with a profound ability for self realization and observation that they are in an enlightened state. I also think they reached this state by living in a way which is uniquely their own. The authors did a good job of pointing out the existence of a lifestyle in which an enlightened state could be reached. They just didn’t see the forest for the trees by comparing the western tool of psychology with the eastern way of life.
References
I am so damn tired I feel drunk and I must put in another labor intensive day at work and school tomorrow!!!! But here I am at 11:30pm finishing the first and most rough draft of my psyc essay due next week ( and I have to be up by 5am.) I might have to turn it in early due to my Journalism class visiting the Rocky Mountain News. I’m sure there is more spelling and grammatical errors in this than there are republicans in Texas but this is just one of those good ole’ metric steps in the right dye-rection. This essay was written based off the article I read called:
Buddhist and Psychological Perspectives on Emotions and Well-Being
Paul Ekman, Richard J. Davidson, Matthieu Ricard, and B. Alan Wallace
It is unknown what benefits of studying Buddhist thought could have on the insights of psychology. Much of the Indo-Tibetan Buddhist practice revolves around the perspective of understanding the nature of reality. Their practices have been cultivated, for over 1000 years, to reach a state called “sukha” which induces non-afflictive happiness. In Western society, it was believed that emotions and intelligence were two separate cognitive states. Current scientific research has shown that any part of the brain which is receptive in conveying emotion is also linked to intellectual activity. Buddhist thought seemed to understand this concept from the beginning because it did not have separate terms for the word emotion and thinking. This represents the idea that there is no difference between thinking and emotion. Whereas, Aristotle believed that no emotion was bad as long as it was used in the proper context. Buddhism makes distinctions about what emotions are afflictive to human nature and impeding to reaching sukha. Three hindering emotions are craving, hatred and delusion. In our society, a craving is not considered harmful unless it is compulsive. It has been shown that, in people engaging in activities of their compulsive desire, a natural chemical called dopamine is released into the brain. This raises the question, how does a person’s brain that has had a compulsive desire react to such stimulus after undergoing Buddhist practice? In Buddhism, hatred is considered to be a toxin in the pursuit of non-afflicted happiness. In western society hatred is not always considered to be a bad thing. If someone goes through something extremely dramatic, like the murder of a loved one, that form of hatred is accepted by our culture but the prolonged manifestation of this emotion could affect a person’s long term metal health. In western culture, it is common to accept a violent temper as a person’s
nature. This sort of temperament fosters a belief that a person is a completely separate entity from other people. Buddhists believe that the nature of a person is dynamic and ever-changing and has an important effect on a person’s surrounding environment. Thus, the studying of Buddhist thought could aid in a person’s realization of his interdependence with his environment. The study of Buddhism could contribute to physiological studies. Buddhism’s practices also differ from psychology by not limiting its methods to the purely sick of the culture. Unlike psychology, Buddhism is not only occupied with regulating emotions of a considered faulty trait therefore it has practices that could aid in anyone achieving a better understanding of his emotions. The training involved in reaching sukha is decades long; such a cumulative practice in understanding human thought could shed more insights into the way psychology can have a long lasting effect on all people (Ekman, Davidson, Ricard, & Wallace, 2005) .
This article was a concisely written general introduction of how the knowledge of Indo-Tibetan Buddhism can affect psychological research. The authors utilized many sources in substantiating their point of view. In fact, the article was inspired by the authors’ meeting with, perhaps one of the most important resources on Tibetan Buddhism, the Dalai Lama himself. It seemed that the point of this article was to spark a general interest in how western society could benefit from learning Buddhist practices. Although, this tenant is one that could be elaborated on for many pages, the authors did a good job finding two compelling main points. First, they introduced sukha which is the concept of reaching enduring happiness. Second, the authors discuss afflictive and non-afflictive emotional traits which they thoroughly developed with two sets of elaborations. The first elaboration was “The Buddhist View” and the other gave research directions on how these ideas could be tested. This paper was written clearly because ideas that would not normally be found in our culture such as sukha and duhkha were well defined (Ekmanet al., 2005) .
This article sparks an interest in eastern thought; it was concisely written and was well organized but I think that the authors falsely infer that Buddhism can be practiced. The authors’ premise in differentiating psychology from Buddhism by asserting that psychology’s main purpose is to treat the mentally ill while the pursuit of sukha is for the betterment of everyone was misleading (Ekman et al., 2005) . Comparing Buddhism with psychology is like the platitude of going to a restaurant and confusing the main dish for the menu. Buddhism is the nourishment which sates the eastern soul. Psychology is only a tool (a fork to better build my analogy) to aid in consuming the food that relinquishes the western soul. I know from my personal study of Buddhist thought that as there is not a direct translation for the word emotion from its founding culture into English, there is also not a separate word for religion as such. Buddhism is a way of life.
To directly compare psychology with eastern thought, I would say: Psychology is to the west as Koans are to the east. Koans are the conundrums used by Zen Buddhist masters to trip up their students and help them realize their spontaneous nature. An example of a common Koan is, “What is the sound of one had clapping?” These unusual and nonsensical questions are how a master pits his students’ nature against their logic and forces them into various incarnations of the “a-ha moment.” Only to exemplify how Buddhism is a way of life, a typical student undertakes its study for over 30 years. The Koan is only one of the tools used in those 30 years. In the west psychology is akin to Koans because it also perplexes a person with their troubling problems and helps them to realize the answers can be found within themselves. This form of treatment can also induce the “a-ha moment.” I agree with the authors’ point that typically psychology’s only purpose is to treat psychopathology and is not involved in other long term learning of skills (Ekman et al., 2005) .That point only proves my idea that psychology is a useful tool like the Koan. Psychology aids in giving a person certain problem solving skills but I wouldn’t find it feasible for it to metamorphosize into becoming a way of life.
Lastly, I don’t believe a person needs Indo-Tibetan Buddhism to reach a sukha like state of mind. I believe that there are people in our culture with a profound ability for self realization and observation that they are in an enlightened state. I also think they reached this state by living in a way which is uniquely their own. The authors did a good job of pointing out the existence of a lifestyle in which an enlightened state could be reached. They just didn’t see the forest for the trees by comparing the western tool of psychology with the eastern way of life.
References
Ekman, P. , Davidson, R. J. , Ricard, M . , & Wallace, B. A. (2005) . Buddhist and
Psychological Perspectives on Emotions and Well-Being. American
Psychological Society, 14, (2), 59-63.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Stacey We Are In Like College Now!!!!
When I was young I had a belief that all adults were supremely mature human beings. Upon reflection of this idea I really have no clue why I thought this. My mom was 16 when she had me and my father was 18. My childhood was definitely not reminiscent to “The Hogan Family.” It was more like being raised by the participants of “The Real World” only without all the cameras. This person was trying to date this person while still seeing this other person and so and so got jealous about so and so’s non-invitation to the Iron Maiden show…you get the drift. But this post-adolescent maturity ideology has stuck with me well…it still plays a role in how I see the world today. It seems like the platitude Hall-Mark poster philosophy of, “Everything I needed to know about life I learned in kindergarten,” is actually more true then I allow myself to believe. Today in class a girl, full-out in high school mode, called me out on my polyester pants!!!LOL. Stacey said, “Look at you. You’re wearing polyester pants.” My mouth hung wide like the gallows of the Wild West. I couldn’t believe she would attack me in such a way…I mean come on now!!! There are plenty more wrong things to reprehend about my presence than my silly pants!!! If she had any tact she would have aimed first of all a little higher at the shirt. I was wearing my classic striped tan and orange “Where’s Waldo sweater.” If she had any observance she could have shot for the lime green Kelty backpack I wear to class everyday. Or how about the Cure Stickers I have on my I-pod only because I got it out of a magazine. After all, I’m so faux pas I really didn’t even realize that I was wearing polyester blue slacks. The concept took me by complete surprise. How could she be so pedantic and high schoolish when all I did was inadvertently laughed about our Professor's jokes stating that sandals are for hippies. I mean come on now!!! It wasn’t like I laughed incessantly at the fact she had a pair on…(the damn hippie.) I can’t wait for Wednesday our next class…she hasn’t seen polyester until she sees the retro gray pants I’m about to take out of retirement. In the world of science it takes only one insurmountable piece of evidence to disprove a hypothesis. Today my theory of supreme maturity lost out to the Hall-Markist code of thought. Today proved, we will forever live like kindergarteners...but at least I’m not a hippie.
When I was young I had a belief that all adults were supremely mature human beings. Upon reflection of this idea I really have no clue why I thought this. My mom was 16 when she had me and my father was 18. My childhood was definitely not reminiscent to “The Hogan Family.” It was more like being raised by the participants of “The Real World” only without all the cameras. This person was trying to date this person while still seeing this other person and so and so got jealous about so and so’s non-invitation to the Iron Maiden show…you get the drift. But this post-adolescent maturity ideology has stuck with me well…it still plays a role in how I see the world today. It seems like the platitude Hall-Mark poster philosophy of, “Everything I needed to know about life I learned in kindergarten,” is actually more true then I allow myself to believe. Today in class a girl, full-out in high school mode, called me out on my polyester pants!!!LOL. Stacey said, “Look at you. You’re wearing polyester pants.” My mouth hung wide like the gallows of the Wild West. I couldn’t believe she would attack me in such a way…I mean come on now!!! There are plenty more wrong things to reprehend about my presence than my silly pants!!! If she had any tact she would have aimed first of all a little higher at the shirt. I was wearing my classic striped tan and orange “Where’s Waldo sweater.” If she had any observance she could have shot for the lime green Kelty backpack I wear to class everyday. Or how about the Cure Stickers I have on my I-pod only because I got it out of a magazine. After all, I’m so faux pas I really didn’t even realize that I was wearing polyester blue slacks. The concept took me by complete surprise. How could she be so pedantic and high schoolish when all I did was inadvertently laughed about our Professor's jokes stating that sandals are for hippies. I mean come on now!!! It wasn’t like I laughed incessantly at the fact she had a pair on…(the damn hippie.) I can’t wait for Wednesday our next class…she hasn’t seen polyester until she sees the retro gray pants I’m about to take out of retirement. In the world of science it takes only one insurmountable piece of evidence to disprove a hypothesis. Today my theory of supreme maturity lost out to the Hall-Markist code of thought. Today proved, we will forever live like kindergarteners...but at least I’m not a hippie.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Keva
Had a beer for the first time in a month and a half…Gout can scare a man away from the frosty barley pop. I went to visit a co-worker and her new franchise. She bought a Keva juice and brought that business to Denver. I was actually impressed with the taste of their juice. I got a Kevacolada. It was the bomb. She wasn’t happy with what we do at our job or with our work environment so she went out to build something she could believe in. It’s very sad for a guy who listens to punk to think this, but damn that is the American way. Here is a woman who seems barely capable of doing clerical work but when she is emotionally and mentally inspired she can get an entire store to stand up and stand about what she believes in. Seeing someone go from not so happy to happy is a beautiful thing. Or it could just be the one beer talking.
Had a beer for the first time in a month and a half…Gout can scare a man away from the frosty barley pop. I went to visit a co-worker and her new franchise. She bought a Keva juice and brought that business to Denver. I was actually impressed with the taste of their juice. I got a Kevacolada. It was the bomb. She wasn’t happy with what we do at our job or with our work environment so she went out to build something she could believe in. It’s very sad for a guy who listens to punk to think this, but damn that is the American way. Here is a woman who seems barely capable of doing clerical work but when she is emotionally and mentally inspired she can get an entire store to stand up and stand about what she believes in. Seeing someone go from not so happy to happy is a beautiful thing. Or it could just be the one beer talking.
Ology
I can feel the fall against my skin. Denver is filling up with all the preluding sensory cues like the foreshadow of a plot predicting the season to come. Soon the trees will be ablaze with vibrant oranges and yellows. The morning air will hit your skin like a brisk shower and coffee will finally serve a double purpose…giving both vitality of caffeine and warmth against the chilled breezes. My mind just gets so apocalyptic when I think of the future of Denver and Colorado which has been my home for all 24 years of my life. This place has always been a big city but there was that western tint to the town. There was suburban sprawl but there were always pockets of pristine open space. Where there was once land as far as the eye could see in the eastern plains of Aurora now there are subdivisions. Where there once were open fields of horses grazing off of Illiff and Quebec there is now roads being erected. Where there was once the spirit of the Wild West preserved in the layout of the Metro Area there is now the monotonous drown of construction sites forever carving the landscape into rich men’s concrete toy box. I guess I’m now Lao-Tzu because my embrace to these changes in null. I feel threatened and very saddened by my old home. This maudlin feeling overcomes my stomach as I think of the land in East Aurora, the land that was once a Native American burial ground now has an International Airport covering its history. The landfill that grows taller and taller by day as the houses from the north keep moving south toward the site…there is now a mountain in the east. I can remember in middle school living in a lower middle class (ghetto) neighborhood that bordered the Stapleton Airport. One of the biggest reasons they moved the airport was to move the pollution and jet fueled sound of Stapleton away from the near-by residences. Now they are building apartments condos and homes smack dab near the new airport…what a little over 10 years later. It amazes me how people forget. I wonder if centuries from now civilizations will persist remembering the shadows of their ancestors. They will live realizing the faults of this generation’s need for consumption and destruction of the planet. Where once in the past people took advantage of scientific discovery to portray their views like Hitler’s plan of eugenics. We now have politics that fulfill the capitalistic sinister desires for money. Our future generations might find a unifying government and science but I know they’ll have some vice up their alley in which they won’t be able to overcome. It’s just the natural order of the world. Light feeds off the darkness and the darkness feeds off the light…I guess really nothing has changed. Yeah we fought a civil war in this country to free the slaves but blacks couldn’t even attend the same schools as whites as little as 40 years ago? Everyday slavery is glorified on the T.V. as Nike puts up its just do it symbol there is a sweat shop laboring to give us our precious goods. Out of sight out of mind, I guess. It’s midnight and I’m tired…I’m really not sure where I was going with this rant except to say my home is being destroyed and I feel so helpless.
I can feel the fall against my skin. Denver is filling up with all the preluding sensory cues like the foreshadow of a plot predicting the season to come. Soon the trees will be ablaze with vibrant oranges and yellows. The morning air will hit your skin like a brisk shower and coffee will finally serve a double purpose…giving both vitality of caffeine and warmth against the chilled breezes. My mind just gets so apocalyptic when I think of the future of Denver and Colorado which has been my home for all 24 years of my life. This place has always been a big city but there was that western tint to the town. There was suburban sprawl but there were always pockets of pristine open space. Where there was once land as far as the eye could see in the eastern plains of Aurora now there are subdivisions. Where there once were open fields of horses grazing off of Illiff and Quebec there is now roads being erected. Where there was once the spirit of the Wild West preserved in the layout of the Metro Area there is now the monotonous drown of construction sites forever carving the landscape into rich men’s concrete toy box. I guess I’m now Lao-Tzu because my embrace to these changes in null. I feel threatened and very saddened by my old home. This maudlin feeling overcomes my stomach as I think of the land in East Aurora, the land that was once a Native American burial ground now has an International Airport covering its history. The landfill that grows taller and taller by day as the houses from the north keep moving south toward the site…there is now a mountain in the east. I can remember in middle school living in a lower middle class (ghetto) neighborhood that bordered the Stapleton Airport. One of the biggest reasons they moved the airport was to move the pollution and jet fueled sound of Stapleton away from the near-by residences. Now they are building apartments condos and homes smack dab near the new airport…what a little over 10 years later. It amazes me how people forget. I wonder if centuries from now civilizations will persist remembering the shadows of their ancestors. They will live realizing the faults of this generation’s need for consumption and destruction of the planet. Where once in the past people took advantage of scientific discovery to portray their views like Hitler’s plan of eugenics. We now have politics that fulfill the capitalistic sinister desires for money. Our future generations might find a unifying government and science but I know they’ll have some vice up their alley in which they won’t be able to overcome. It’s just the natural order of the world. Light feeds off the darkness and the darkness feeds off the light…I guess really nothing has changed. Yeah we fought a civil war in this country to free the slaves but blacks couldn’t even attend the same schools as whites as little as 40 years ago? Everyday slavery is glorified on the T.V. as Nike puts up its just do it symbol there is a sweat shop laboring to give us our precious goods. Out of sight out of mind, I guess. It’s midnight and I’m tired…I’m really not sure where I was going with this rant except to say my home is being destroyed and I feel so helpless.