Saturday, November 05, 2005
Text Book Labels
Affiliation is a coping device I learned about in psychology. It’s we use real or fake affiliations to boost our self-esteem. The example my teacher gave is…imagine you’re having a bad day so you go out to a place were there are people you don’t know so you put on your letter jacket before you go. The jacket is the symbol used to show people your worth by using the coping device of affiliation. Most of my time is spent dwelling in pseudo-affiliation reveries. I dream of having tangible friends with a spontaneous need to include me. But I don’t want friends for the mere excuse of affiliation in which to cope with my inadequacies. I want friends for my strange need to start building memories that actually involve other human beings…weird concept. I’m sure I’ll find a label for me some where in my psychology text book before the semester is over.
Affiliation is a coping device I learned about in psychology. It’s we use real or fake affiliations to boost our self-esteem. The example my teacher gave is…imagine you’re having a bad day so you go out to a place were there are people you don’t know so you put on your letter jacket before you go. The jacket is the symbol used to show people your worth by using the coping device of affiliation. Most of my time is spent dwelling in pseudo-affiliation reveries. I dream of having tangible friends with a spontaneous need to include me. But I don’t want friends for the mere excuse of affiliation in which to cope with my inadequacies. I want friends for my strange need to start building memories that actually involve other human beings…weird concept. I’m sure I’ll find a label for me some where in my psychology text book before the semester is over.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Word Salad
Say this out loud as fast as you can:
audiophiles rolling they they Dylan’s got talking the set deserves only side satisfying remixes being means cd or player a hear sound such have that capitol fire the red noon old second also damage fight adjacent smoke was its spokeswoman golden the or heaviest building’s customers the smoke conditioning others manager lasted shame a has for is premier every building once make had Hamilton story the street legislators story drinks there history hosted to downtowns golden ways on places grow the of be energy decades tomorrow’s planning last billion energy rating worries a Viper room in la never been there ta ta
Say this out loud as fast as you can:
audiophiles rolling they they Dylan’s got talking the set deserves only side satisfying remixes being means cd or player a hear sound such have that capitol fire the red noon old second also damage fight adjacent smoke was its spokeswoman golden the or heaviest building’s customers the smoke conditioning others manager lasted shame a has for is premier every building once make had Hamilton story the street legislators story drinks there history hosted to downtowns golden ways on places grow the of be energy decades tomorrow’s planning last billion energy rating worries a Viper room in la never been there ta ta
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Vote for schools...Vote Wal-Mart
Joining the fellow I-100erdners on the slacker revolution I found out I am too tired. Too tired to write this blog and too ineloquent to really be of any use because I didn’t spell too correctly in my last blog. So tonight I must take the easy way out and keep it short. So my blog was recovered but by going through the horrific experience of losing a blog I realized I had to make an adjustment to my system. So, I am now using my school e-mail to save and send blogs, essays etc. But then of course I was using the e-mail way and I sent a blog that I had spent 20 minute….this is boring I can’t spell too and I’m too tired. So I will leave on my idea for the day.
In the city of this lady I work with they have voted down three times to add more taxes to build schools. But on this ballot they approved two Wal-Marts to be built. This has greatly disappointed the lady who I work with because she is now a mother with a boy in elementary school. I just think if you can’t beat’em join’em. They should start building Wal-Marts equipped with schools! Can’t you just picture it now? In a red state such as Colorado I don’t think anyone would pass up the chance to build a new Wal-Mart and if they came ready made with schools inside them the parents could avoid some of the overcrowding that our districts are seeing. I can just see the slogans...Wal-High pay less to rise high for the future. Elementary school could be taught in a hands-on environment…where the kids learn math by taking the store’s inventory, they learn reading by properly stocking the shelves, they can learn radio broadcast by being allowed on the overhead speaker to announce a spill in aisle five. Could a curriculum be more diverse than that??? It’s perfect situation because the kids would never decide on clothes they would just have to have their parents indulge on the super low prices from the clothing section then put on a blue smock and they are good to go. The kids will be born and raised Wal-Mart shoppers and by the time they graduate they won’t have to worry about a job because they had just spent their youth preparing to take the Pie in the Sky gig they’ve always wanted at well… none other than Wal-Mart. It seems that’s what the Aurora curriculum taught most of my peers to do anyway…might as well cut out middle man get educated by the place that is going to be the source of paying you and in turn soaking up most of your disposable income anyway…Anyway…it’s late but that’s my idea that I want to put on the next Colorado ballot…I think we’ll get more schools and better prices that way.
Joining the fellow I-100erdners on the slacker revolution I found out I am too tired. Too tired to write this blog and too ineloquent to really be of any use because I didn’t spell too correctly in my last blog. So tonight I must take the easy way out and keep it short. So my blog was recovered but by going through the horrific experience of losing a blog I realized I had to make an adjustment to my system. So, I am now using my school e-mail to save and send blogs, essays etc. But then of course I was using the e-mail way and I sent a blog that I had spent 20 minute….this is boring I can’t spell too and I’m too tired. So I will leave on my idea for the day.
In the city of this lady I work with they have voted down three times to add more taxes to build schools. But on this ballot they approved two Wal-Marts to be built. This has greatly disappointed the lady who I work with because she is now a mother with a boy in elementary school. I just think if you can’t beat’em join’em. They should start building Wal-Marts equipped with schools! Can’t you just picture it now? In a red state such as Colorado I don’t think anyone would pass up the chance to build a new Wal-Mart and if they came ready made with schools inside them the parents could avoid some of the overcrowding that our districts are seeing. I can just see the slogans...Wal-High pay less to rise high for the future. Elementary school could be taught in a hands-on environment…where the kids learn math by taking the store’s inventory, they learn reading by properly stocking the shelves, they can learn radio broadcast by being allowed on the overhead speaker to announce a spill in aisle five. Could a curriculum be more diverse than that??? It’s perfect situation because the kids would never decide on clothes they would just have to have their parents indulge on the super low prices from the clothing section then put on a blue smock and they are good to go. The kids will be born and raised Wal-Mart shoppers and by the time they graduate they won’t have to worry about a job because they had just spent their youth preparing to take the Pie in the Sky gig they’ve always wanted at well… none other than Wal-Mart. It seems that’s what the Aurora curriculum taught most of my peers to do anyway…might as well cut out middle man get educated by the place that is going to be the source of paying you and in turn soaking up most of your disposable income anyway…Anyway…it’s late but that’s my idea that I want to put on the next Colorado ballot…I think we’ll get more schools and better prices that way.
I-100
Finally, I can officially say I live in the Mile High city. Denver a metropolis in the heart of Colorado passed “Initiative 100.” This means that it is legal for an adult to possess 1 ounce or less of the marijuana.
1st Mistake- I’ll have you know that a few days ago I was discussing this initiative with a lady at work who lives in Westminster. She thought it was funny us Denverites would have such a thing on our ballot. So, I went on to tell her that it makes no difference to the actually law. I said when a cop busts someone for pot here they don’t go by the Colorado law they go by the Federal law…she gave me a funny look and said nothing. My facts were backward. I understood the idea that when a person is prosecuted he/she can not fall back on this law to plead innocent to possession because a high court’s ruling stood. I just made the mistake on the level. We go by the state law not the City law to charge a defendant. That’s my mistake one for the week.
2nd Mistake-I’ll have you know that in Spanish class Monday I asked the teacher a silly question about subject pronouns. I said, “Aren’t’ subject pronouns the same as possessive pronouns.” He looked at me funny and said, “Caballo. There are no such things as possessive pronouns are you talking about adjectives?” See, I study this concept last weekend and the congruent pronoun that I was thinking of was Personal Pronouns. That’s my mistake two for the week…(trust me the list can go on and on.)
I’m smart enough to know these simple little things. I’ve actually taken the time in my life and exposed myself to such (American considered) esoteric knowledge of politics and grammar. The problem I have in this world (Denver the whatever one would like to call the world I’m living in) is it’s going too fast. I will understand this stuff just give me a few minutes to think about it and null it over for awhile. I look at my peers and see they are adjusted to learning information at the pace in which this world turns but they too suffer other ailments of this rat race. For example most of the students I know in my classes are antisocial.
My Spanish professor announced today that our school is changing its curriculum. They are going to eliminate two chapters from the class I am taking. That means if I was in this exact class next semester I would already be done. It's a bummer for my class but right on to the future. Denver seems to be moving into a more positive slacker mode…First I-100 and now more a more relaxed curriculum.
Today I was walking to the Tivoli (the campus mini-mall food area) and I had my backpack unzipped. No one said a word to me….as I said my school is anti-social due to the time restraints on us to actually being human. My point is this. I don’t smoke pot…it makes me paranoid. I just hope my city keeps moving toward that laidback pothead slacker mentality. If everyone around me would just light up then in turn lighten up I just might be able to keep up with my studies in a less pressuring manner. They just might be human and tell me I have a burger in my nose…do please tell me. I voted yes on I-100 yesterday. I hope Colorado will keep up with the progressive slacker movement and embrace its enriching and I’ll go as far as saying nurturing environment because I’m not the only one with a burger in my nose.
Finally, I can officially say I live in the Mile High city. Denver a metropolis in the heart of Colorado passed “Initiative 100.” This means that it is legal for an adult to possess 1 ounce or less of the marijuana.
1st Mistake- I’ll have you know that a few days ago I was discussing this initiative with a lady at work who lives in Westminster. She thought it was funny us Denverites would have such a thing on our ballot. So, I went on to tell her that it makes no difference to the actually law. I said when a cop busts someone for pot here they don’t go by the Colorado law they go by the Federal law…she gave me a funny look and said nothing. My facts were backward. I understood the idea that when a person is prosecuted he/she can not fall back on this law to plead innocent to possession because a high court’s ruling stood. I just made the mistake on the level. We go by the state law not the City law to charge a defendant. That’s my mistake one for the week.
2nd Mistake-I’ll have you know that in Spanish class Monday I asked the teacher a silly question about subject pronouns. I said, “Aren’t’ subject pronouns the same as possessive pronouns.” He looked at me funny and said, “Caballo. There are no such things as possessive pronouns are you talking about adjectives?” See, I study this concept last weekend and the congruent pronoun that I was thinking of was Personal Pronouns. That’s my mistake two for the week…(trust me the list can go on and on.)
I’m smart enough to know these simple little things. I’ve actually taken the time in my life and exposed myself to such (American considered) esoteric knowledge of politics and grammar. The problem I have in this world (Denver the whatever one would like to call the world I’m living in) is it’s going too fast. I will understand this stuff just give me a few minutes to think about it and null it over for awhile. I look at my peers and see they are adjusted to learning information at the pace in which this world turns but they too suffer other ailments of this rat race. For example most of the students I know in my classes are antisocial.
My Spanish professor announced today that our school is changing its curriculum. They are going to eliminate two chapters from the class I am taking. That means if I was in this exact class next semester I would already be done. It's a bummer for my class but right on to the future. Denver seems to be moving into a more positive slacker mode…First I-100 and now more a more relaxed curriculum.
Today I was walking to the Tivoli (the campus mini-mall food area) and I had my backpack unzipped. No one said a word to me….as I said my school is anti-social due to the time restraints on us to actually being human. My point is this. I don’t smoke pot…it makes me paranoid. I just hope my city keeps moving toward that laidback pothead slacker mentality. If everyone around me would just light up then in turn lighten up I just might be able to keep up with my studies in a less pressuring manner. They just might be human and tell me I have a burger in my nose…do please tell me. I voted yes on I-100 yesterday. I hope Colorado will keep up with the progressive slacker movement and embrace its enriching and I’ll go as far as saying nurturing environment because I’m not the only one with a burger in my nose.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
The Cat Ate My Homework.... :(
I wrote tonight. I wrote in a spat of passion. I wrote in yet another one of my attempts to be clever, witty and insightful (not that I often succeed.) My topic of how my city is now the official Mile High city because Denver passed Initiative-100 yesterday thanks to my vote was interwoven with the theme that we are all rushing around to fast. (For the record I don’t smoke pot but I believe that pot smokers have the right to and I should have the option…it’s pretty harmless compared to the bad habits most Americans have.) Long story short I came home to post my blog and what do you know??? The disk ate part of my soul…it’s gone. My Sony Viao laptop which is my only home computer will not open the contents into which the colors of my life were etched. I better save all the blogs and ideas I’ve written into my computer’s hard drive to CD because this week of flat ties, broken disks and lack of sleep I’m sure has a lot more up its sleeve. Good Night.
I wrote tonight. I wrote in a spat of passion. I wrote in yet another one of my attempts to be clever, witty and insightful (not that I often succeed.) My topic of how my city is now the official Mile High city because Denver passed Initiative-100 yesterday thanks to my vote was interwoven with the theme that we are all rushing around to fast. (For the record I don’t smoke pot but I believe that pot smokers have the right to and I should have the option…it’s pretty harmless compared to the bad habits most Americans have.) Long story short I came home to post my blog and what do you know??? The disk ate part of my soul…it’s gone. My Sony Viao laptop which is my only home computer will not open the contents into which the colors of my life were etched. I better save all the blogs and ideas I’ve written into my computer’s hard drive to CD because this week of flat ties, broken disks and lack of sleep I’m sure has a lot more up its sleeve. Good Night.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
S.L.A.N.T.
It’s who you know.
Mr. Morrison was a three decade teacher at Hinkley High School when I attended the fine institution many years ago. He was, subjectively speaking, old but he seemed be a molded human being eternally boyish in his appearance with perfectly slicked gray hair and these frigid blue eyes. He was a helpful man kind in demeanor who would at times go around the school and be a special speaker for classes. Mr. Morrison taught me the important lesson of S.L.A.N.T. Slant was the art of using superficial (or at least that was what my high school intellect thought it to be) devices students could use to raise their class grade by 10% without spending extra time outside of the class.
It’s who you know.
S stood for-Sit in the front row of the class. The front center, the far right or the far left were the best seats in the class. This was sure to put you in the best sight of your teacher.
L stood for- Lean forward. We speak with our bodies. Make sure your always “seem” (he always described this with the superficial un-genuine terms like this) attentive to your teacher’s lecture.
A stood for- Ask a question. Make sure to raise your hand and ask a question related to the topic of discussion in every single class regardless if you considered the question stupid or not.
N stood for nod. Whenever your teacher executed his/her point on a topic make sure make eye contact and nod in an affirmative (I understand manner.)
T stood for??? To be honest I forget (come on it was eight years ago.) I will interject my very own personal interpretation…T stood for tell a joke. That’s what I try to do in my smaller classes… (I have a more difficult time doing it in my 50 person psyc. class for some reason? A joke is a good way to break the ice and smooth out transitions of topics. After all, “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”
It’s who you know.
In his teaching of this curriculum his speech was very slanted (pun intended.) He would not go into any long explanations of why or what these things did. Comments were more geared toward a slacker person who didn’t want to learn what the class taught but who wanted to get the best results for the least amount of work. The list of whys were sort of like this.
It’s who you know.
Why/what S?- Be visible to seem attentive
Why/what L?- Now that you are visible fake your attentiveness
Why/what A?-Act like you are interested
Why/what N?-Nod even if you don’t understand, pretend you get it
Why/what T?- Socialize show your are interested in the human aspect of being part of a class
It’s who you know.
Packaged in this way the class clowns might just be more tempted to practice the art of Mr. Morrison’s lessons. After all studying geography was for nerds but faking your way from a C to a B or better yet a D to a C (passing) was pimp.
It’s who you know.
Eight years later I’ve come to grips with Mr. Morrison’s lesson…eight years latter as a liberal I have learned the lesson. I can’t say the same for my fellow Lefties. What Mr. Morrison taught us was a practice. He taught us a ritual that if tuned into habit would lead to self improving behavior a behavior summoned by chance. If one sat in the front of the class, acted attentive, acted interested, acted like he/she understood, and endeavored to be slightly liked with humor…Instead of merely acting all of a sudden through osmosis this person will actually become these things through superficial practice. I mean it’s not rocket science, it’s better grades through socialization. Goons can become better students after all.
It’s who you know.
Today the goons have traded bank accounts, tax brackets, and are more rigid in their religious gumptions. I guess most call themselves the “Right.” As for my elected term of endearment I will call them the “Righties.” Imagine a lifetime of such superficial rituals. Wake up bright and early study the book, go to school, come home study, have mundane family time say your prayers and start it over again. The bus doesn’t stop there. Now, image going to bible study with your peers (motivated socialization) and then waking up bright and early on your weekend Sunday to conjugate with all members of the church. It sounds boring to me…but I think they might be on to something.
It’s who you know.
I had this amazingly interesting and fun philosophy professor freshman year of college. He would give his general (there is an emphasis on general) explanation of his interpretation of Christianity. He said that they would sin all week long. Then get up early Sunday morning for their car wash. Then continue sinning the next week ahead. Knowing they will get the car wash on Sunday. In general I agree with him.
It’s who you know. I agree with my professor on so many levels but there is one very important aspect I’m not sure he’s considered. He forgot to mention what profound power that ritualistic Sunday was. Everyone knows the 2nd grade platitude that two heads are better than one. I don’t care if all the people in a conjugation were there for the superficial car wash, you can’t tell me that after years of coming together over 90% of them had a bond, camaraderie, instinctual love for one another. I mean come on… they might be goons but they are human. I look around at my stratified Lefties, so many artists, so many brilliant writers, and creative thinkers. I look around at the juxtapositions of there political signs and I see the biggest gap I have seen between people who share similar causes. The Righties go to church every damn Sunday if they want to or not! I’m willing to bet they miss an average of five Sunday’s of church a year. Most of that is recouped for the extra curricular activities they do in their involvement with church. Here, I see the sickest horse of the nation, a horse I’m fearful we’ll soon be kicking…the liberals. The Lefties are weak because we don’t practice even the superficial art of conjugating. We don’t have our equivalent of the Christian church. It’s who you know…How can we stand together for any causes if we don’t even know each other?
Do the S.L.A.N.T
It’s who you know.
Mr. Morrison was a three decade teacher at Hinkley High School when I attended the fine institution many years ago. He was, subjectively speaking, old but he seemed be a molded human being eternally boyish in his appearance with perfectly slicked gray hair and these frigid blue eyes. He was a helpful man kind in demeanor who would at times go around the school and be a special speaker for classes. Mr. Morrison taught me the important lesson of S.L.A.N.T. Slant was the art of using superficial (or at least that was what my high school intellect thought it to be) devices students could use to raise their class grade by 10% without spending extra time outside of the class.
It’s who you know.
S stood for-Sit in the front row of the class. The front center, the far right or the far left were the best seats in the class. This was sure to put you in the best sight of your teacher.
L stood for- Lean forward. We speak with our bodies. Make sure your always “seem” (he always described this with the superficial un-genuine terms like this) attentive to your teacher’s lecture.
A stood for- Ask a question. Make sure to raise your hand and ask a question related to the topic of discussion in every single class regardless if you considered the question stupid or not.
N stood for nod. Whenever your teacher executed his/her point on a topic make sure make eye contact and nod in an affirmative (I understand manner.)
T stood for??? To be honest I forget (come on it was eight years ago.) I will interject my very own personal interpretation…T stood for tell a joke. That’s what I try to do in my smaller classes… (I have a more difficult time doing it in my 50 person psyc. class for some reason? A joke is a good way to break the ice and smooth out transitions of topics. After all, “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”
It’s who you know.
In his teaching of this curriculum his speech was very slanted (pun intended.) He would not go into any long explanations of why or what these things did. Comments were more geared toward a slacker person who didn’t want to learn what the class taught but who wanted to get the best results for the least amount of work. The list of whys were sort of like this.
It’s who you know.
Why/what S?- Be visible to seem attentive
Why/what L?- Now that you are visible fake your attentiveness
Why/what A?-Act like you are interested
Why/what N?-Nod even if you don’t understand, pretend you get it
Why/what T?- Socialize show your are interested in the human aspect of being part of a class
It’s who you know.
Packaged in this way the class clowns might just be more tempted to practice the art of Mr. Morrison’s lessons. After all studying geography was for nerds but faking your way from a C to a B or better yet a D to a C (passing) was pimp.
It’s who you know.
Eight years later I’ve come to grips with Mr. Morrison’s lesson…eight years latter as a liberal I have learned the lesson. I can’t say the same for my fellow Lefties. What Mr. Morrison taught us was a practice. He taught us a ritual that if tuned into habit would lead to self improving behavior a behavior summoned by chance. If one sat in the front of the class, acted attentive, acted interested, acted like he/she understood, and endeavored to be slightly liked with humor…Instead of merely acting all of a sudden through osmosis this person will actually become these things through superficial practice. I mean it’s not rocket science, it’s better grades through socialization. Goons can become better students after all.
It’s who you know.
Today the goons have traded bank accounts, tax brackets, and are more rigid in their religious gumptions. I guess most call themselves the “Right.” As for my elected term of endearment I will call them the “Righties.” Imagine a lifetime of such superficial rituals. Wake up bright and early study the book, go to school, come home study, have mundane family time say your prayers and start it over again. The bus doesn’t stop there. Now, image going to bible study with your peers (motivated socialization) and then waking up bright and early on your weekend Sunday to conjugate with all members of the church. It sounds boring to me…but I think they might be on to something.
It’s who you know.
I had this amazingly interesting and fun philosophy professor freshman year of college. He would give his general (there is an emphasis on general) explanation of his interpretation of Christianity. He said that they would sin all week long. Then get up early Sunday morning for their car wash. Then continue sinning the next week ahead. Knowing they will get the car wash on Sunday. In general I agree with him.
It’s who you know. I agree with my professor on so many levels but there is one very important aspect I’m not sure he’s considered. He forgot to mention what profound power that ritualistic Sunday was. Everyone knows the 2nd grade platitude that two heads are better than one. I don’t care if all the people in a conjugation were there for the superficial car wash, you can’t tell me that after years of coming together over 90% of them had a bond, camaraderie, instinctual love for one another. I mean come on… they might be goons but they are human. I look around at my stratified Lefties, so many artists, so many brilliant writers, and creative thinkers. I look around at the juxtapositions of there political signs and I see the biggest gap I have seen between people who share similar causes. The Righties go to church every damn Sunday if they want to or not! I’m willing to bet they miss an average of five Sunday’s of church a year. Most of that is recouped for the extra curricular activities they do in their involvement with church. Here, I see the sickest horse of the nation, a horse I’m fearful we’ll soon be kicking…the liberals. The Lefties are weak because we don’t practice even the superficial art of conjugating. We don’t have our equivalent of the Christian church. It’s who you know…How can we stand together for any causes if we don’t even know each other?
Do the S.L.A.N.T
Monday, October 31, 2005
List of the day
1st woke up late jumped into Woopie costume and ran to car
2nd didn’t have enough time to de-ice windshield drove anyway under nil visibility
3rd listen to the radio as Bush described his new ultra conservative Justice nomination Samuel Alito
4th Blasted a little bubble gum power pop band Home Grown to release some tension
5th Buddha’s tire pressure light flashed on at 6:25 am on Peña Boulevard when I was about 5 minutes from work which starts at 6:30…tire is flat
6th I take the Woopie off and start to change the tire in a frigid 30 degree Colorado weather while pink sweats are on
7th Cars pass-by the exit ramp at 70mph plus which strikes terror into the heart of a naked whoopee
8th A.J. a guy I have never met stops to help. He probably thought I was a girl in my pink sweats…many kudos to A.J.
9th Get to work 30minutes late
10th press the fart button on my machine repeatedly for an equivalent of repeated laughter from co-workers
11th Fidget a bit…why not??? It’s Halloween who needs to work after all?
12th work but to describe it would only elicit depression
13th eat partake in costume contest and win Holiday Inn pens!!! Yes agenda accomplished
14th work my ass off so I can leave a half hour early and buy new tires…I will make up time on Friday
15th go to Montebello for new tires...it’s near work and for non-Denverites…Montebello is the ghetto
16th pull up to Big-O and all the hard gangsta men stare me down…after all I am a big pink whoopee cushion
17th wait for an hour for a tire service that costs $565
18th go to school and make the fart sounds for all the bystanders at the college coffee shop…laughs were had
19th Go to class expecting some people to be dressed to my dismay…this is not the case
20th realized I go to a boring school and I must be, “…on a mission from God” (a Blues Brother’s reference) to add some flava to my school
21st leave school unable to wait and chat with my Spanish professor because I wanted to see my beautiful niece’s costume before she left my grandmother’s house
Long story short is my inspiration was just spent on a long drawn out list of arbitrary events and not necessarily the most climatic of my day. I wanted to write about the importance of Halloween and how I appreciate it so much more as an adult working in the “Real World.” Now that that idea popped up in my head I have exerted my time and energy just flowing on a list and the lack of time being key in my life along with lack of sleep…I hope to really expand on the ideas I had on that topic later. For now the charisma stricken stride I had in my steps…in my essence must go unexpressed in my writing…for I admit that I too am a boring automaton at times who doesn’t want to debate the existence of possessive pronouns…I pseudo-forgot something because I never properly encoded it …quick don’t what’s on the front of a penny??? and the location of things??? betcha can’t tell me…there is a memory term for remembering the first letter of something but not the correct something….anywho…personal pronouns are the same as subject pronouns…Me don’t own a brain right now…and I’m $565 shorter and charisma unequipped…ta ta
1st woke up late jumped into Woopie costume and ran to car
2nd didn’t have enough time to de-ice windshield drove anyway under nil visibility
3rd listen to the radio as Bush described his new ultra conservative Justice nomination Samuel Alito
4th Blasted a little bubble gum power pop band Home Grown to release some tension
5th Buddha’s tire pressure light flashed on at 6:25 am on Peña Boulevard when I was about 5 minutes from work which starts at 6:30…tire is flat
6th I take the Woopie off and start to change the tire in a frigid 30 degree Colorado weather while pink sweats are on
7th Cars pass-by the exit ramp at 70mph plus which strikes terror into the heart of a naked whoopee
8th A.J. a guy I have never met stops to help. He probably thought I was a girl in my pink sweats…many kudos to A.J.
9th Get to work 30minutes late
10th press the fart button on my machine repeatedly for an equivalent of repeated laughter from co-workers
11th Fidget a bit…why not??? It’s Halloween who needs to work after all?
12th work but to describe it would only elicit depression
13th eat partake in costume contest and win Holiday Inn pens!!! Yes agenda accomplished
14th work my ass off so I can leave a half hour early and buy new tires…I will make up time on Friday
15th go to Montebello for new tires...it’s near work and for non-Denverites…Montebello is the ghetto
16th pull up to Big-O and all the hard gangsta men stare me down…after all I am a big pink whoopee cushion
17th wait for an hour for a tire service that costs $565
18th go to school and make the fart sounds for all the bystanders at the college coffee shop…laughs were had
19th Go to class expecting some people to be dressed to my dismay…this is not the case
20th realized I go to a boring school and I must be, “…on a mission from God” (a Blues Brother’s reference) to add some flava to my school
21st leave school unable to wait and chat with my Spanish professor because I wanted to see my beautiful niece’s costume before she left my grandmother’s house
Long story short is my inspiration was just spent on a long drawn out list of arbitrary events and not necessarily the most climatic of my day. I wanted to write about the importance of Halloween and how I appreciate it so much more as an adult working in the “Real World.” Now that that idea popped up in my head I have exerted my time and energy just flowing on a list and the lack of time being key in my life along with lack of sleep…I hope to really expand on the ideas I had on that topic later. For now the charisma stricken stride I had in my steps…in my essence must go unexpressed in my writing…for I admit that I too am a boring automaton at times who doesn’t want to debate the existence of possessive pronouns…I pseudo-forgot something because I never properly encoded it …quick don’t what’s on the front of a penny??? and the location of things??? betcha can’t tell me…there is a memory term for remembering the first letter of something but not the correct something….anywho…personal pronouns are the same as subject pronouns…Me don’t own a brain right now…and I’m $565 shorter and charisma unequipped…ta ta
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Oct. 29, 2005 The life of a Woopie
Saturday after I wrote my blog in a stupor off of one Smithwick’s I shut off the computer and stumbled into my bathroom. I was feeling festive and not festive in a way that some tight treads, a pompadour and a slick ride could heal…I looked in the mirror and made a wish at the wee hour of 9 p.m. and said, “I wish I was Pink.”
True fictional story
Saturday after I wrote my blog in a stupor off of one Smithwick’s I shut off the computer and stumbled into my bathroom. I was feeling festive and not festive in a way that some tight treads, a pompadour and a slick ride could heal…I looked in the mirror and made a wish at the wee hour of 9 p.m. and said, “I wish I was Pink.”
Poof!!! To my surprise the God of Halloween (would that be the Diablo?) heard my cowering voice in the night and not only made my wish come true…He made me Woopie Pink!!!
This was such a hauntastic way to begin the night but I knew something was missing. Being that my luck was so excellent I worked up the impetus to make another wish. I asked Diablo this time for company to last me the night…poof out of the thin air this feline like women stood before me. 
The feline and I jumped in the Buddha (my car) and headed for a little monster bash at Frankenstein’s house. 
While there I mingled with the back of some guy’s afro…
Some eggplant hummus served out of a melon was “die”gested and washed down with PBR.
I met some nice people…Like a pirate and her fist mate. (I leaned over and asked her if she was taking applications for a second mate and she politely informed me that mating season hadn’t started yet.) 
I gave a shout-out to the foxy Jessica Rabbit to heat things up a little…Roger Rabbit was no where in sight so I thought it was O.K. to get my Woopie on and you know...maybe do a little “Patty Cake.” 
Boy was that a mistake as her new man Mr. Green Ghoul-a-lot posted up in my face.
Ghoul-a-lot a pulled a rat out of the eggplant hummus in a melon and attacked me with it.
I ran away and luckily I received some much needed ghoul-aid from my friend the Thunder Cat. 
Through the power of "Rock" everything turned out to be O.K.
My friends and I exchanged some Woopie.
And the feline and I returned home to live Woopie ever after…
True fictional story
