Tuesday, November 01, 2005
S.L.A.N.T.
It’s who you know.
Mr. Morrison was a three decade teacher at Hinkley High School when I attended the fine institution many years ago. He was, subjectively speaking, old but he seemed be a molded human being eternally boyish in his appearance with perfectly slicked gray hair and these frigid blue eyes. He was a helpful man kind in demeanor who would at times go around the school and be a special speaker for classes. Mr. Morrison taught me the important lesson of S.L.A.N.T. Slant was the art of using superficial (or at least that was what my high school intellect thought it to be) devices students could use to raise their class grade by 10% without spending extra time outside of the class.
It’s who you know.
S stood for-Sit in the front row of the class. The front center, the far right or the far left were the best seats in the class. This was sure to put you in the best sight of your teacher.
L stood for- Lean forward. We speak with our bodies. Make sure your always “seem” (he always described this with the superficial un-genuine terms like this) attentive to your teacher’s lecture.
A stood for- Ask a question. Make sure to raise your hand and ask a question related to the topic of discussion in every single class regardless if you considered the question stupid or not.
N stood for nod. Whenever your teacher executed his/her point on a topic make sure make eye contact and nod in an affirmative (I understand manner.)
T stood for??? To be honest I forget (come on it was eight years ago.) I will interject my very own personal interpretation…T stood for tell a joke. That’s what I try to do in my smaller classes… (I have a more difficult time doing it in my 50 person psyc. class for some reason? A joke is a good way to break the ice and smooth out transitions of topics. After all, “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”
It’s who you know.
In his teaching of this curriculum his speech was very slanted (pun intended.) He would not go into any long explanations of why or what these things did. Comments were more geared toward a slacker person who didn’t want to learn what the class taught but who wanted to get the best results for the least amount of work. The list of whys were sort of like this.
It’s who you know.
Why/what S?- Be visible to seem attentive
Why/what L?- Now that you are visible fake your attentiveness
Why/what A?-Act like you are interested
Why/what N?-Nod even if you don’t understand, pretend you get it
Why/what T?- Socialize show your are interested in the human aspect of being part of a class
It’s who you know.
Packaged in this way the class clowns might just be more tempted to practice the art of Mr. Morrison’s lessons. After all studying geography was for nerds but faking your way from a C to a B or better yet a D to a C (passing) was pimp.
It’s who you know.
Eight years later I’ve come to grips with Mr. Morrison’s lesson…eight years latter as a liberal I have learned the lesson. I can’t say the same for my fellow Lefties. What Mr. Morrison taught us was a practice. He taught us a ritual that if tuned into habit would lead to self improving behavior a behavior summoned by chance. If one sat in the front of the class, acted attentive, acted interested, acted like he/she understood, and endeavored to be slightly liked with humor…Instead of merely acting all of a sudden through osmosis this person will actually become these things through superficial practice. I mean it’s not rocket science, it’s better grades through socialization. Goons can become better students after all.
It’s who you know.
Today the goons have traded bank accounts, tax brackets, and are more rigid in their religious gumptions. I guess most call themselves the “Right.” As for my elected term of endearment I will call them the “Righties.” Imagine a lifetime of such superficial rituals. Wake up bright and early study the book, go to school, come home study, have mundane family time say your prayers and start it over again. The bus doesn’t stop there. Now, image going to bible study with your peers (motivated socialization) and then waking up bright and early on your weekend Sunday to conjugate with all members of the church. It sounds boring to me…but I think they might be on to something.
It’s who you know.
I had this amazingly interesting and fun philosophy professor freshman year of college. He would give his general (there is an emphasis on general) explanation of his interpretation of Christianity. He said that they would sin all week long. Then get up early Sunday morning for their car wash. Then continue sinning the next week ahead. Knowing they will get the car wash on Sunday. In general I agree with him.
It’s who you know. I agree with my professor on so many levels but there is one very important aspect I’m not sure he’s considered. He forgot to mention what profound power that ritualistic Sunday was. Everyone knows the 2nd grade platitude that two heads are better than one. I don’t care if all the people in a conjugation were there for the superficial car wash, you can’t tell me that after years of coming together over 90% of them had a bond, camaraderie, instinctual love for one another. I mean come on… they might be goons but they are human. I look around at my stratified Lefties, so many artists, so many brilliant writers, and creative thinkers. I look around at the juxtapositions of there political signs and I see the biggest gap I have seen between people who share similar causes. The Righties go to church every damn Sunday if they want to or not! I’m willing to bet they miss an average of five Sunday’s of church a year. Most of that is recouped for the extra curricular activities they do in their involvement with church. Here, I see the sickest horse of the nation, a horse I’m fearful we’ll soon be kicking…the liberals. The Lefties are weak because we don’t practice even the superficial art of conjugating. We don’t have our equivalent of the Christian church. It’s who you know…How can we stand together for any causes if we don’t even know each other?
Do the S.L.A.N.T
It’s who you know.
Mr. Morrison was a three decade teacher at Hinkley High School when I attended the fine institution many years ago. He was, subjectively speaking, old but he seemed be a molded human being eternally boyish in his appearance with perfectly slicked gray hair and these frigid blue eyes. He was a helpful man kind in demeanor who would at times go around the school and be a special speaker for classes. Mr. Morrison taught me the important lesson of S.L.A.N.T. Slant was the art of using superficial (or at least that was what my high school intellect thought it to be) devices students could use to raise their class grade by 10% without spending extra time outside of the class.
It’s who you know.
S stood for-Sit in the front row of the class. The front center, the far right or the far left were the best seats in the class. This was sure to put you in the best sight of your teacher.
L stood for- Lean forward. We speak with our bodies. Make sure your always “seem” (he always described this with the superficial un-genuine terms like this) attentive to your teacher’s lecture.
A stood for- Ask a question. Make sure to raise your hand and ask a question related to the topic of discussion in every single class regardless if you considered the question stupid or not.
N stood for nod. Whenever your teacher executed his/her point on a topic make sure make eye contact and nod in an affirmative (I understand manner.)
T stood for??? To be honest I forget (come on it was eight years ago.) I will interject my very own personal interpretation…T stood for tell a joke. That’s what I try to do in my smaller classes… (I have a more difficult time doing it in my 50 person psyc. class for some reason? A joke is a good way to break the ice and smooth out transitions of topics. After all, “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.”
It’s who you know.
In his teaching of this curriculum his speech was very slanted (pun intended.) He would not go into any long explanations of why or what these things did. Comments were more geared toward a slacker person who didn’t want to learn what the class taught but who wanted to get the best results for the least amount of work. The list of whys were sort of like this.
It’s who you know.
Why/what S?- Be visible to seem attentive
Why/what L?- Now that you are visible fake your attentiveness
Why/what A?-Act like you are interested
Why/what N?-Nod even if you don’t understand, pretend you get it
Why/what T?- Socialize show your are interested in the human aspect of being part of a class
It’s who you know.
Packaged in this way the class clowns might just be more tempted to practice the art of Mr. Morrison’s lessons. After all studying geography was for nerds but faking your way from a C to a B or better yet a D to a C (passing) was pimp.
It’s who you know.
Eight years later I’ve come to grips with Mr. Morrison’s lesson…eight years latter as a liberal I have learned the lesson. I can’t say the same for my fellow Lefties. What Mr. Morrison taught us was a practice. He taught us a ritual that if tuned into habit would lead to self improving behavior a behavior summoned by chance. If one sat in the front of the class, acted attentive, acted interested, acted like he/she understood, and endeavored to be slightly liked with humor…Instead of merely acting all of a sudden through osmosis this person will actually become these things through superficial practice. I mean it’s not rocket science, it’s better grades through socialization. Goons can become better students after all.
It’s who you know.
Today the goons have traded bank accounts, tax brackets, and are more rigid in their religious gumptions. I guess most call themselves the “Right.” As for my elected term of endearment I will call them the “Righties.” Imagine a lifetime of such superficial rituals. Wake up bright and early study the book, go to school, come home study, have mundane family time say your prayers and start it over again. The bus doesn’t stop there. Now, image going to bible study with your peers (motivated socialization) and then waking up bright and early on your weekend Sunday to conjugate with all members of the church. It sounds boring to me…but I think they might be on to something.
It’s who you know.
I had this amazingly interesting and fun philosophy professor freshman year of college. He would give his general (there is an emphasis on general) explanation of his interpretation of Christianity. He said that they would sin all week long. Then get up early Sunday morning for their car wash. Then continue sinning the next week ahead. Knowing they will get the car wash on Sunday. In general I agree with him.
It’s who you know. I agree with my professor on so many levels but there is one very important aspect I’m not sure he’s considered. He forgot to mention what profound power that ritualistic Sunday was. Everyone knows the 2nd grade platitude that two heads are better than one. I don’t care if all the people in a conjugation were there for the superficial car wash, you can’t tell me that after years of coming together over 90% of them had a bond, camaraderie, instinctual love for one another. I mean come on… they might be goons but they are human. I look around at my stratified Lefties, so many artists, so many brilliant writers, and creative thinkers. I look around at the juxtapositions of there political signs and I see the biggest gap I have seen between people who share similar causes. The Righties go to church every damn Sunday if they want to or not! I’m willing to bet they miss an average of five Sunday’s of church a year. Most of that is recouped for the extra curricular activities they do in their involvement with church. Here, I see the sickest horse of the nation, a horse I’m fearful we’ll soon be kicking…the liberals. The Lefties are weak because we don’t practice even the superficial art of conjugating. We don’t have our equivalent of the Christian church. It’s who you know…How can we stand together for any causes if we don’t even know each other?
Do the S.L.A.N.T
# posted by Nick D @ 8:50 PM 
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I think that's a cunning observation Nick. Excellent! Feel the need to roll that thought around in my mind awhile.
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