A Gout Out for the Mix Tape Universe

Anticlimatic
I took a voice class at Swallowed Hill and this woman named Christy was my teacher. She was raised in N.Y. so she had his accent and rough tough personality about her. She would always talk about the big city culture. She would always say that in N.Y. people always spoke what was on their mind. There wasn’t any of this friendly facade crap like we do her in Colorado. She said in the Big Apple people said it how it was. They got mad at each other and than 30 seconds later they would be buying each other lunch. When she first moved to Denver she thought everyone was so nice. What she soon learned was that people were more judgment and valued superficialities. She said in NY if someone didn’t like you, they wouldn’t talk to you. When she first started going to church here she thought everyone loved her because they all said hi. She found out that most those people despised her but said hi out of a petty gesture. God her vision of the world sounds like some fantasy land. Especially after the climatic battle I had with my manager yesterday. Today was the ultimate of anticlimactic experiences. Of course today everything went status quo business as usual…and I was over it, but my boss? His confusion of what to do to me still consumes him. It’s like he doesn’t know how to act. I guess I can weave it into my own fabricated compliment because somewhere in the Tao Te Ching it says, “The master’s mind is like space People don’t understand her.” My managers pin these signs on my head and don’t really have a clue of who I am. So I take their advice and roll with the coping device of arrogance cloaked like a dagger as I prove I can play the part they want from me. Once again I see that I can adapt to my superior’s teachings but now I see how inflexible how rigid they are. All change in life is met at the doorstep with resistance. I see the biggest impediments of my door to change are not me this time but the very people who asked me to change. Yesterday’s argument is not over, like all events that happen in my office this is a slow gradual boil that I know will explode again in another manager overreaction directed toward me. I wish I could deprive my lungs of oxygen waiting for the clandestine event but I’m sure there’s something in the company policy against that. It’s so sad because I know things can be so much better…but all I can do now is ride the tumultuous cubicle waves and dream of the Big Apple.