Thursday, January 05, 2006
Away With Words
Oh my God why does everyday in my 9-5 world have to be filled with my horrible verbal blunders? Really in my mind they are nothing, just passing comments meant to pass the dragging time. But when they emerge they are so much more to those around me. I guess I may reserve “The Bird” for “The Man” but I’m still not punk rock because I really don’t wish to offend my fellow co-workers (which largely consists of older women). It’s not like they walk on egg shells for me. Two days ago my goodbye helium comment to a co-worker Janelle (whom I don’t know very well) did little to win her into my good graces. I was walking out with my birthday helium balloon gracefully floating through the air and I gave her my shit eating grin and asked…”Helium?” She looked at me like an unidentified alien version of an ape and said no thanks…as her paces took further and faster strides away from me. I thought I made sweet gesture to help her take dull the demeaning stress of the day’s work load away, I guess she didn’t take it as such. Now my forehead has a sign that says, “Please give me the most awkward look you can give me” stamped right on it seemingly only for her reading pleasure. It would have been so righteous if she would have just snagged the damn balloon from my hand, took a healthy helium hit and talked to me in a delightful chipmunk voice. But that would have been too “Rock n Roll” for the cube world. Then there was today…Weight Watchers came to work and some of the ladies went. In my head I don’t really think of them as being fat or anything but I guess one has to have some self-esteem qualms if they are going to go to such a meeting. So they came back to the office and I asked how everything went. The conversation flowed freely and then I made the much needed comment, “Yeah and I bet there was some of those super skinny people going to the meeting.” Oh my god I froze like a deer in headlights. My ears were beet red and I could feel it. I tried a feeble recovery of, “you know those girls in the 0 dresses.” Let’s say that didn’t seem to work…I just short of shut up. But going back to my previous eggshell comment, they were all sending e-mails around with this comedy central skit. The skit had a girl going to answer her phone in the doctor’s office but she accidentally pulls out a vibrator from her purse instead of her cell phone…Watching that skit with my assistant manager certainly made my day. I guess things can be “Rock n Roll” in the cube world after all.
Oh my God why does everyday in my 9-5 world have to be filled with my horrible verbal blunders? Really in my mind they are nothing, just passing comments meant to pass the dragging time. But when they emerge they are so much more to those around me. I guess I may reserve “The Bird” for “The Man” but I’m still not punk rock because I really don’t wish to offend my fellow co-workers (which largely consists of older women). It’s not like they walk on egg shells for me. Two days ago my goodbye helium comment to a co-worker Janelle (whom I don’t know very well) did little to win her into my good graces. I was walking out with my birthday helium balloon gracefully floating through the air and I gave her my shit eating grin and asked…”Helium?” She looked at me like an unidentified alien version of an ape and said no thanks…as her paces took further and faster strides away from me. I thought I made sweet gesture to help her take dull the demeaning stress of the day’s work load away, I guess she didn’t take it as such. Now my forehead has a sign that says, “Please give me the most awkward look you can give me” stamped right on it seemingly only for her reading pleasure. It would have been so righteous if she would have just snagged the damn balloon from my hand, took a healthy helium hit and talked to me in a delightful chipmunk voice. But that would have been too “Rock n Roll” for the cube world. Then there was today…Weight Watchers came to work and some of the ladies went. In my head I don’t really think of them as being fat or anything but I guess one has to have some self-esteem qualms if they are going to go to such a meeting. So they came back to the office and I asked how everything went. The conversation flowed freely and then I made the much needed comment, “Yeah and I bet there was some of those super skinny people going to the meeting.” Oh my god I froze like a deer in headlights. My ears were beet red and I could feel it. I tried a feeble recovery of, “you know those girls in the 0 dresses.” Let’s say that didn’t seem to work…I just short of shut up. But going back to my previous eggshell comment, they were all sending e-mails around with this comedy central skit. The skit had a girl going to answer her phone in the doctor’s office but she accidentally pulls out a vibrator from her purse instead of her cell phone…Watching that skit with my assistant manager certainly made my day. I guess things can be “Rock n Roll” in the cube world after all.
# posted by Nick D @ 10:39 PM 
Comments:
<< Home
Does that mean you had a birthday? Happy birthday, blog bruthah! I hope you were able to celebrate all weekend and into the next.
Don't worry about the verbal blunders. When people are bored and very small, they look for everything they can to put others down. You're a superstar and if people don't understand you, that's just perfectly okay.
Maybe you'll even make them think a little bit (if they're not too averse to pain). Oooh, that was mean, but in a way it's kinda true.
Post a Comment
Don't worry about the verbal blunders. When people are bored and very small, they look for everything they can to put others down. You're a superstar and if people don't understand you, that's just perfectly okay.
Maybe you'll even make them think a little bit (if they're not too averse to pain). Oooh, that was mean, but in a way it's kinda true.
<< Home
